My tutor’s feedback was very encouraging for this assignment and I am pleased that the efforts I made for this project was successful and resulted in a good documentary film. There were ten points listed in his feedback. Although I haven't been able to address them all, I have re-edited the film and responded to the following points:
Point 1. I changed the title to “Oosterschelde – Crossing the Atlantic” and relied on the introductory titles to give details of the type of ship she is.
Point 2. Music. I found some dramatic music for the stormy passages but was not successful in adding it as the sequences were so short and both had narrative under them anyway.
Point 7. I introduced a 5 sec clip showing the position of Tristan da Cunha on the globe during the start of the relevant sequence.
Point 8. I did as my tutor suggested and changed the length of time between the Tristan sequence and the arrival in Cape Town. However, I used Simon’s narrative rather than Alice’s. This is because Alice refers to Tristan in her interview whereas Simon does not. This has improved the balance putting the Tristan sequence into the middle of the film.
Point 9. I decided not to change the ending (I think Robert meant to say epilogue) as with any adventure, you end up thinking and talking about it long after it is over. After we arrived in Cape Town and had time to relax, the ship was buzzing with a sort of energy, with lots of stories and reminiscences being told and retold. I asked Alice to summarise the highs and lows of the voyage as she would relate it to her family. It was part of what was happening on board and I think her final sentence sums up the feeling at the end of the voyage and makes a nice ending for the film.The re-edited version will be submitted for assessment with the original assignment version along with the Tutor Reports.