Telling a story 2 –other student’s sequences

I’ve found these exercises via contacts on the OCA forum. It seems that a couple of students are not longer active but I have commented on their stories anyway.
http://stuartmcquade.com/dfp/Exercises/Entries/2011/6/18_Exercise_1__Frames_in_the_film.html
Stuart  - The Nursery Rhyme “Three Blind Mice” Stuart chose well for his story, just the right number of ideas expressed in rhyme to match the frames.
Frame 1: Three blind mice, shown with dark glasses. A very good way to show blindness. I have seen this done with shades and white sticks before.
Frame 2: See how they run – just that and appropriately shown in a farmyard setting. They look as if they are legging it at a fair pace too.
Frame 3: Running after the farmers wife who is carrying pails of milk. This identifies her as the protagonist.
Frame 4: The bloody deed! Suitably low key (there may be children watching!)
Frame 5: This frame sums up the story. They started off blind and now they are blind and tail less. No wonder there are tears being shed.
All the information is included here and it illustrates the story well. There is nothing superfluous as far as I can see.
http://digitalfilmproduction.blogspot.com/2009/08/project-1frames-in-film.html
Paul – Fable  “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”
Frame 1: Establishes the shepherd boy and his flock.
Frame 2: Boy cries “wolf” when there is no wolf in sight.
Frame 3: Unnecessary measures are taken to protect the flock from no threat .
Frame 4: The boy cries “wolf” again when a real wolf appears, there is no help available.
Frame 5: The wolf has eaten all of the sheep and the boy is disconsolate.
This was a difficult story to tell in five frames. My understanding of the fable was that the boy who cried wolf once too often suffered the consequences. I feel that somehow, there should be at least two false alarms. Perhaps the first frame could have included this as well as establishing the boy and the flock.
http://www.samaling.com/?p=18
Samantha – Fairy Story – “Cinderella”
Frame 1: Cinderella is shown scrubbing floors with the two ugly sisters looking on.
Frame 2: The Fairy Godmother and the mice help Cinders. The pumpkin is included in the frame.
Frame 3: Cinderella at the ball with Prince Charming. The clock is showing  nearly midnight.
Frame 4: Cinderella runs off and loses her slipper.
Frame 5: Cinderella shown with Prince Charming  - the glass slipper fits. The ugly sisters look on.
All of the information needed to understand the story is present (it has just occurred to me that because these stories are universal, there could be a tendency to unconsciously fill in the gaps) but having checked back, all of the characters are there (except the wicked stepmother who manifests herself in the ugly sisters), Cinders, the sisters, a prince and a godmother. The props are all there, the pumpkin and mice, the glass slipper and the clock.  I think Samantha has included everything necessary in her five frames.
Margaret – Nursery Rhyme – “Rock a bye Baby”
Frame 1: Shows the tree top, the cradle and the baby. Rock-a-bye Baby in the treetop
Frame 2: The wind is blowing (effective representation of the wind) and the cradle is rocking. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
Frame 3: The bough is shown in close up, breaking. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
Frame 4: The bough is breaking again – a longer shot.
Frame 5: The baby and the cradle falling. Down will come baby, cradle and all.
Unlike Three Blind Mice, this rhyme only has four ideas to illustrate. Margaret could have used the fourth frame to show the baby and cradle falling and the fifth to illustrate the predictable reaction of the baby or perhaps a concerned parent. There will be a political and sinister theme behind this rhyme (there usually is but I haven’t researched it yet) So perhaps the fifth frame could make some reference to that.
I’ll await comments on my frames and start work on my own story.